The responses started coming immediately and everyone seemed to have a plan on what to do first. But I think Martie, who probably knows me best, called me on the cell and instantly calmed me down with her statement - 'Are you getting any work done' - think we were both feeling the same kind of fear and helplessness. We decided we needed to be back in Arlington to try and help in any way we could. We got out of our offices early and hit the road. We managed to arrive in Arlington within minutes of each other, her coming from Rapid City and me from Mandan.
Somehow the 330 miles seemed to fly by and inch by all at the same time. I hate to drive and talk on the cell phone, but everyone kept calling and wanting more information. Pat finally was able to get back to us with news that Mom was admitted and safe, but still hadn't seen a doctor, expecting to at any moment.
When I walked into the house on 3rd street and saw Martie and Dad sitting at the kitchen table with papers scattered about the table with phone numbers and addresses, I knew I was in the right place. It was immediately known to me that Dad felt better with us there. I was still pretty worried inside so I got on the phone and contacted Kathleen and Peggy to let them know where Mom was - just in case.
Later that evening we finally found out from Pat that Mom would be having an angioplasty and/or angiogram early the next morning. So we all went to bed pretty early with a plan to get out of town by 4 or 4:30 am. I of course, slept poorly, so I got up and tried to make a pan of hot hash browns for breakfast for everyone, but they were pretty mushy, and none of us had much of an appetite anyway. We mostly rode in silence in the pre-dawn darkness down the interstate to the city. More miles in the darkness with headlights few and far between and scary thoughts in all our heads, even though Pat tried to reassure us this type of surgery was relatively common and without complications.
When we finally made our way into the hospital and to her room, that fist of fear was back in the bottom of my stomach when I saw Mom lying in her bed. She was visibly frightened and her skin seemed to be almost transparent in a weird way. Dad was pretty quiet, but stayed close to her and Martie tried to get a chuckle from all by reminding her that 48 years ago she was also in the hospital delivering me! That felt weird to think about too. Pat seemed to be the only one who was calm and confident about things. Guess he is used to being in hospitals and around doctors, etc. more than we are. By a strange coincidence, Mom's night nurse was married to the son of our cousin. I think she helped Mom relax a bit overnight as they discussed that side of the family and kids, jobs, etc.
As we accompanied her to the surgical rooms, we wished her good luck and headed to the waiting room for what we thought would only be an hour but turned into about four. Gradually as the sun rose higher the waiting room filled up with family members of other patients quietly but anxiously waiting for some news. Every time the phone in the waiting room would ring it got quiet and we all waited for our name to be called to get some tidbit of news about progress. Once we were told things were going smoothly, then later a doctor came out with pictures of her heart to show us hard to see blockages. Next we were told she was comfortable and things were going fine. More time passed, then we were told it was taking a little longer than expected. Finally we were told it was successful and she was in her room, and we could go up and visit. She was still so groggy and seemed to want some information about what had happened. Pat calmly and slowly told her everything the doctor had told us. I think that helped her relax a little bit. The nurse brought in some lunch and Mom really seemed to be hungry, which for some reason really surprised me, I guess I hadn't even thought about food for awhile. She couldn't eat much and did admit to being sleepy. So we all left to go back to the cafeteria, get some lunch, and hope she would get stronger. Pat went home to do some errands while Martie & I stayed to wait with Dad at the hospital.
Dad is taking his own nap in the waiting room.
Dad is waiting in the afternoon sunshine while Martie is checking email on a computer.
We read magazines, walked around the grounds, worked on puzzles, watch some TV, and just sat and imagined all kinds of things.
Finally about 3 pm I walked by her room to see that she was awake. I quickly went back and told Martie and Dad. What a difference a few hours of sleep made. The familiar Mom I've always known was back inside those eyes. She told us it was the best sleep she has had for many many days. Later Pat came back and we all talked for a few hours telling her about what we had all been doing in our respective homes. But then it finally got to be too much for Dad so Martie and I decided it was time to get him back to Arlington.
However, our timing was not good, as we happened to leave in the midst of Friday night rush hour traffic, and got stuck in a traffic jam. It took us just as long to get out of Sioux Falls as it did to get from Sioux Falls to Brookings. For some reason it didn't bother me to be the driving, but it was kind of hard for Martie & Dad to just sit and wait it out.
While we were stuck in late day interstate traffic, Pat had gone home and brought his daughter back in her Halloween costume to visit and cheer up her grandma.
Aislynn in a glittery scary witch costume.
After we finally arrived back in Arlington, Dad was visibly lighter when he walked through the door into the kitchen and saw their cat waiting for us. Martie made some grilled cheese sandwiches and he headed off to bed.
The next morning, Dad told us he didn't think he would go to the hospital that day. We all kind of expected Mom to have to stay in the hospital for a few days. After making a long list of supplies needed around that big house, Martie and I decided to make a trip to Wal-Mart before we headed to Sioux Falls for a visit. It happened to be Hobo Day in Brookings and was hard for Martie to leave town without staying to visit with her daughter who was there for the first time, but busy with parade preparations. Then a phone call from Pat on the way out of town surprised us with information that Mom had been walking and would probably be released after lunch! I couldn't believe it, not even 24 hours earlier she was in the middle of heart surgery! So we quickly made our way down to Sioux Falls.
Mom was looking 100% better and very anxious to get out of the hospital. Katrina and Aislynn were there also which I know Mom loved. The doctor (who reminded me of a much younger Uncle Art) was patiently explaining her surgery and I felt like I was 50 pounds lighter. She had a great appetite and talked freely with us all. That afternoon Martie also felt better as she decided to accompany Pat and Aislynn to the SDSU Hobo Day football game, while Mom and I got her prescriptions filled and made our way back to Dad in Arlington.
He was so funny. When we got home, he wanted to see all the pills and immediately sat down and figured out how to use the pill splitter and split all the pills in that had to be given in half dosages, not just one or two pills, but all of them. He was so studious as he was doing this, guess it made him feel like he was helping in some small way.
Mom did tire easily, and took everything very slow, but it was so clear she was so glad to be home.
Martie and I decided to spend the weekend and stay through Halloween to help out while her incision was healing. I kind of 'cracked the whip' with chores to get done around the house and made Martie work! But it felt good to know we were helping out. She also had visits over the weekend from Liza, Pat and Aislynn.
On Halloween, one of her favorite holidays, Mom carefully laid out a big box of toys and big bowl of candy near the front door. Her plan was to have each of the kids come inside and pick out their treat. This way she could see them all better, they could warm up, and she wouldn't have to carry the box or bowl around. At first she tried to answer the door each time, but after about 50th kid or so (there was a total of 103 all evening), I started answering for her and she just greeted them. It was fun and she seemed to know a good share of the kids and the moms that came along with the little ones.
I was able to leave the next day knowing Pat would be coming to take her to a follow-up doctor appointment the next day. I relished the long drive back to gradually take me out of the fearful world of losing a parent and into the everyday routine of my real life back in North Dakota.
I knew I was home when I got a face full of dog kisses from Sam and Rowdy as I unlocked my door.
1 comment:
Thank you so much Dodey for the detailed and well written description of what happened that weekend and what it was like. You really brought the experience closer to me. I wish I would have been there that weekend, but was glad I made the trip to be with them last weekend.
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